Book Club: The Last Lecture

photo: Amazon.com

If you follow me on Twitter, you may or may not have read a tweet when I said I refused to read The Last Lecture. Well, I stood by that tweet and didn't read last month's book club pick. I know, I know. And if one more person tells me "it's the best book ever," I kid you not, I will probably go "Jackie Chan" on them.

Actually, to be perfectly honest with you all, I did read the first 10 pages of this book. And what ended up happening was what I knew would happen in the first place. I cried. For 10 pages. Sobbing. Can you hear the sound of me slamming the book closed, now?



You see, I tend to live life in a little bubble. Not always practical, but when it comes to subject such as losing my husband or children, I can't bear the thought of it. I know the rest of you are the same, but I for those 10 pages I read, all I kept thinking about was what my children and I would do or feel if we were faced with such a horrible prognosis of Mr. Monogram. I simply couldn't separate myself from the wife in the book. I'm not always like this, but for some reason, certain books do this to me and it's mainly books having to do with a critical illness/death of a parent and/or child. So, while I did not read this book and yes, I am quite aware that it is a fantastic book and I am happy that so many of you have read it, loved it, and gotten so much out of it, I will remain in my little bubble.

Book Club: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Tonight is book club and for April, MM girlfriend, Traci, is hosting at her home and chose The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I had heard lots of chatter about this book so I was eager to read it. And given how busy April has been for me, I'm still reading it and likely will still be reading it tonight while I'm sipping my glass of wine at Traci's, but that is neither here nor there.

I had a little difficulty getting into this book because it starts right off as a letter from the main character, Juliett, to her publisher friend, Sydney with no lead-up or warning at all. Juliett is a published author in London who wrote under the alias Izzy Bickerstaff during WW II. She essentially wrote humorous essays on the non-humorous events that were unfolding during the war (in England) and became a huge success. I should interject at this point and tell you that this is a historical fiction, just in case any of you get a wild hair and decide to google Izzy Bickerstaff.

Anyhoo, now in post war England, Juliett is given an assignment to write 3 articles for the Times on books and reading and what they came to mean to people during the war. Not knowing what to write about or where to start, she gets a random letter from a man who found one of her books in a book store in the Guernsey Islands who writes asking her for more information on the book and it's author, and that begins a long correspondence between the two. It is from these letters that Juliett learns of The Guernesy Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society that this man and his friends started during the War in Guernsey. Cut off from all communication with the outside world from the Germans, a group of he and his friends concocted this faux literary society as a way to still meet and enjoy eacht others company during the German occupation without getting in trouble w/ the Germans. And what started as a cover for their meetings, ended up turning into an actual book club which helped them cope during the war.

The entire book is written in letter form. Letters from one person to another, hand written dinner invitations, and all the members of the Literary Society corresponding to Juliett to tell her their own stories of their involvement w/ the Literary Society and the various members. All I kept thinking was that all this written correspondence must have been exhausting and nerve wracking waiting on replies since there was obviously no email in the mid 40's. Some of the characters are pretty humorous in their gossipy-type letters, but others are rather straight-forward but really explain a lot about the time period what was going on during the war. Once I got used to the format of the book, it was relatively easy to settle in to.

All in all, so far, so good. I can't say it's "great" because I haven't come close to finishing it yet. However, all my book club girlfriends who've finished are all raving about how much they love this book so my hopes are high.

photo source: Amazon.com

So Royal it Deserves a Crown

This past weekend was crazy. Not just crazy, INSANE. I'll get into that later in the week, but despite my crazy long weekend, I had some time to dash into the bookstore near my parents house while in Atlanta. And you know those theme table of books they always have set up (ie. sappy books for Mothers Day, inspirational books for Graduates, you get the idea) when you walk in the door? Well sometimes they suck and there is no cohesion to them (I mean really, my kids could do a better job putting together a table of books with a common theme, people), and sometimes there is a golden light glowing from one of those tables. Like a little halo, if you will. The table that was just made for you. Piles of new books with fresh, hard bindings waiting to be cracked open, just chock FULL of books that you want to devour. I found my table. To be fair, I found several tables and quite frankly could have wiped out our 401K at that bookstore but let's not be too hasty. We are in a recession after all and Mr. Monogram does work in the automotive industry (a moment of silence, please), so all I did was whip out my phone and start adding to my "Books to Read" list.

Here's one of them...

All glossy and shiny (and yes, gold!), this book has it all. A must have for any Martha wanna-be like me (and you). And while I didn't read the dedication in the book, I'm pretty sure it was written for me.

Now, while I've got you all thinking about cookies, it just so happens that a friend has asked for my Royal Icing recipe. What better time to share it, right? So here it is. I'll admit, I do less measuring with this recipe and more tasting. I go a lot by texture, weight, and taste, but just know you can't really screw it up. Oh, and don't forget as with any royal icing recipe, it's always best to keep your bowl of frosting covered w/ a damp towel to prevent it from drying out.

Ingredients

3 egg whites

1 lb confectioner's sugar (powdered sugar)

1/2 tsp cream of tartar

1tsp of flavoring of your choice (almond extract, vanilla extract, lemon extract, etc)

Instructions

1) Put all the ingredients in a bowl and beat on medium for a good 10 minutes or so.

2) You want the icing to form a good stiff peak, and become nice and glossy.

Book Club: The Thirteenth Tale

Before I drop the mini's off at summer camp and head out for a day of "Ladies on the Lake" with my book club girls (can I just tell you how much I am looking forward to soaking up the sun on the lake today?), I thought it only fitting to share a long overdue book club review with you guys. I read The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield many months ago but have been dying to share it with ya'll. No, this isn’t my typical chick-lit genre that keeps me laughing out loud annoying everyone within earshot of me, but rather an excellent, not to be missed work of fiction that will have you on the edge of your seat througout the entire book, and then deeply sorryto see it end.

It takes about 40 pages to really get into the book and you will probably be cursing me for it being boring those first 40 pages, but don’t give up! The entire rest of the book after that set-up will have give you more twists and turns and secrets and unexpected discoveries than you could ever imagine. This book had me literally reading at stop lights in the car because I could not put it down and read it fast enough. Those of you gals’ looking for a GREAT book club discussion book, look no further! There is SO MUCH to delve into and pick apart and dissect in this book that we all had notes in the margins of our books while we were reading. And rarely does the end of a book leave me speechless, but I honestly gasped out loud while reading the end of this story because it was so shocking and unexpected. Simply put, this book is NOT to be missed!

Amazon.com Review
Settle down to enjoy a rousing good ghost story with Diane Setterfield's debut novel, The Thirteenth Tale. Setterfield has rejuvenated the genre with this closely plotted, clever foray into a world of secrets, confused identities, lies, and half-truths. She never cheats by pulling a rabbit out of a hat; this atmospheric story hangs together perfectly.
There are two heroines here: Vida Winter, a famous author, whose life story is coming to an end, and Margaret Lea, a young, unworldly, bookish girl who is a bookseller in her father's shop. Vida has been confounding her biographers and fans for years by giving everybody a different version of her life, each time swearing it's the truth. Because of a biography that Margaret has written about brothers, Vida chooses Margaret to tell her story, all of it, for the first time. At their initial meeting, the conversation begins:

"You have given nineteen different versions of your life story to journalists in the last two years alone."

She [Vida] shrugged. "It's my profession. I'm a storyteller."

"I am a biographer, I work with facts."

The game is afoot and Margaret must spend some time sorting out whether or not Vida is actually ready to tell the whole truth. There is more here of Margaret discovering than of Vida cooperating wholeheartedly, but that is part of Vida's plan. The transformative power of truth informs the lives of both women by story's end, and The Thirteenth Tale is finally and convincingly told. --Valerie Ryan

Fins to the Left! Fins to the Right!

Tuesday night was book club, and while I won't do a full Book Club review on this book because I didn't really care for it, I just have to share what I brought for book club as my treat (everyone brings an appetizer or desert to share to the hosts home). The book we read was called Grayson by Lynne Cox. Long story short, it's a a true, coming of age short story (about 170 pages or so) of a woman who is a competitive swimmer and found a lost 18-foot baby whale off the coast of California when she was seventeen years old, training in the dark early morning waters off Seal Beach. The whole story takes place in the water with grouper, sting ray, plankton, sharks, and all sorts of other disgusting stuff in the ocean swimming into her for I don't know how many hours while she tries to help this baby whale find it's mother. I know it's gotten rave reviews and truly, I think would be better suited for a young adult reader, but personally I was just ready for this woman to get the heck out of the water already (I mean really, this book could have been a short story and published in a magazine. It really did not need an entire book).

Anyway, while I don't recommend the book, I DO recommend my treat I took. Y'all know me, when I see the opportunity for a theme I take it and run with it (or rather, swim with it in this case!)!

Beach Themed Cupcakes

You Will Need
-cake batter recipe (or box) of your choosing
-frosting recipe (or container) of your choosing
-blue food coloring
-either blue fruit roll-ups OR grayish-blue card stock

Mmmmmmmmmmm...
Here are my cupcakes fresh out of the oven

I colored my frosting blue, then slathered it on creating peaks with a butter knife to resemble waves. While I had originally cut my shark fins out of blue fruit roll-ups, they started *mysteriously* disappearing so I was forced to use a gray folder as my shark fins.

Pretty cute and tasty treat to discuss a book about the creatures of the ocean, no?

But wait! That's not all !!*in my best infomercial voice*

Now, one step further... I had some leftover cake batter and poured it into a small corning ware dish. I baked it to golden perfection and leveled the top of the cake with a knife. Once I'd emptied the cake out and let it cool, I decorated it to resemble....

THE BEACH!!
The base is covered in the same blue buttercream frosting I used for my cupcakes. The top is covered is plain white buttercream frosting and covered in graham cracker crumbs (from the box that you'd buy to make a crust with). Insert a fun drink umbrella and a broken seashell the mini's brought home from the beach and VOILA!

And I left it behind as a surprise with this little note for all my guys....

Another great idea from Martha.

Vacation Book Review (Is there ANY Chick-Lit I haven't read?)

Would you believe in my 12 days of vacation I read 6 books? Whew! I began by taking 4 and not allowing myself to start any of them until we were at the beach, but the next thing I knew I had already gone through all of them and we had to make a detour on the road to stop at another bookstore for me. Now, having heard from quite a few of you who, I know you are anxious to hear my review of what I've read, so here goes for my Preppy reading picks.




Target Underwear and a Vera Wang Gown LOVED LOVED LOVED this book! I was a tad skeptical as I started the first chapter, but it only took a few more pages for me to fall in love with this book. It's sarcastic, funny, and also a little sad in a few parts, but overall this book will give you a great ride down memory lane in your own closet. I dare you not to see yourself in some point of this book.







Shopaholic & Baby Another good one by Sophie Kinsella! Her humor and quick wit remind me why I fell in love with the title character, Becky Bloomwood when she began the Shopaholic series. You just had to know Becky would be donning the most stylish maternity fashions and vying for the biggest and best cribs and strollers! So yes, another fun read in the series that you shouldn't miss.





Bright Lights, Big Ass Jen Lancaster quickly became my favorite author about halfway into Chapter 1 of her last book, Bitter is the New Black. Again, she does not disappoint and this book is highly entertaining and sarcastic and will have you laughing out loud as it follows Jen through her journey writing her first book, moving (again!), more crazy neighbors, and trying to stomach Fletch's cooking and affection for Rachel Ray (which she doesn't share, btw). As a daily reader of her blog, I recognized a little of the material from there, but overall it was all new stuff. Bitter is still my favorite, but don't miss out on adding this one to your beach bag.




Jack's Widow I don't know why, but this one was just okay for me. There were parts I loved, then parts that were really slow. Not great, but definitely not bad. What's really neat is that you have to keep reminding yourself which facts are real and which are Fiction. The book is a work of fiction based on real people and events surrounding JFK's assassination. The author does a lot of jumping around so that sort of wore on me a bit. But if you love Jackie and stories of Camelot, this is a great book for you that will stretch your imagination. Sort of a "what if"....





Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim I had high hopes for David Sedaris, the author of this book. I'd heard so much about his books, how funny he is, and well, we all know what a riot his sister Amy is. But I was really disappointed in this. It was a little boring to me and lost my interest, but since it is a collection of memories and short stories, it's very easy to pick up and put back down again. Now, a friend of mine has listened to him on NPR and says he's really funny if you listen to him tell these stories in his own voice, but in my head? Not so much.






Goodbye, Jimmy Choo Yet again, I picked a novel based solely off the cover art. Well, wouldn't you if it was this cute? However, if I'd bothered to really read the cover, i would have known this is a British novel. It's pretty cute and kitschy as well as very predictable, but it's very heavy in British slang and that really got on my nerves. But overlooking all that, it wasn't too bad. I don't really think the title is appropriate for the story, but whatever. It's not my book.





So, now I'm out of books. I need to start my June selection for Chick-Lit Book Club, but other than that, does anyone have any good ones to recommend? Leave 'em in comments, please! ;-)

I Don't Know How She Does It

So last week was book club and what with the rude commenter taking up so much time and all, I completely forgot to chat about last months book. As you are all well aware, this is a light book club and we pride ourselves on our senseless books that are full of humor. But last months book had had quite a few of us feeling a little bitter.

The book last month was I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson and centered around a workaholic mom named Kate, who is a married with 2 children. The book is based in London, although Kate travels all around the world for her uber important job with a high powered brokerage firm. Basically the only time Kate doesn’t feel inferior is in her career which keeps her away from her children & husband far too much, but yet she still continues to chose her career over her family time after time. I personally lost patience with her constantly running late to every meeting, every trip to the airport, every trip to the kid’s school, etc. She left me feeling exhausted just reading the book because she was always in a rush. However, there are some pretty funny moments in there that we can all relate to, like the night she stayed up late pounding store-bought mince meat pies with a rolling pin in an attempt to make them look homemade (Sandra Lee would be proud!).

I will say, at the end of the book she finally got her act together and quit her high stress job to spend more time with her family and take over a dollhouse making company. This worked out perfectly though because her entire family was able to partake in this venture (what with her husband being an architect and all). All in all, I will say I recommend this book, but only if nothing else catches your fancy at the bookstore first. Looking ahead, May’s book is One for the Money by Janet Evanovich and I’m really excited to read it because I’ve heard great things about the author. I’ll keep you posted!

Why Not Skip & Go Naked?

Remember my big complaint about book club? Well I went ahead and dropped out. Yep, I did. And believe you me, I am no quitter. Nuh-uh. *shaking my head* But you know what? It’s ok. Because I decided to start up a new book club with my friend Cresta (who was also in the last book club with me) where the only rule is NO BORING BOOKS ALLOWED. If you have a boring book, you must check it at the door with your coat and bag, please. And if you are caught smuggling in a boring book, then just know that you will be subject to a review by your book club peers. That’s right! Save the drama for your momma! Well, not THIS momma, but you know what I mean.

So who knew dropping out of book club could create so much drama? I will spare you the details, but suffice-to-say, some people *cough Old book club leader* have a real knack for creating ridiculous drama around every aspect of their life. I mean, it’s book club, honey! You’re not exactly guarding government secrets (or are you?)! This same person also doesn’t like to hear suggestions from members of said club of possible changes to liven it up a bit. And before you jump to any conclusions, I was not the only person innocently suggesting a few format changes when we noticed people dropping like flies like they just ran into the flyzapper on a hot summer night.

Anyhoo, with Cresta and I starting up our new book club and all, we needed a catchy name. So we are the ChickLit Book Club. And BTW, do you know how difficult actual Chicklit Gum is to find these days? Geeez! But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, book club. So aside from this being a fun and lighthearted, upbeat book club, we started a new format. Every member initially puts 2 books on the list. Either books they have read and want to share and chat about, books they really want to read, or even books that were made into movies that they never read but wanted to. So we have this master list. And when it’s your turn to host, you pick the book for the month off the list. The only catch is you can’t pick your own book. However, you also get to replace the book. This way, we are reading books we want to read, and the list is always changing and rotating around.

So far it’s been a really fun format for those of you looking to start up a new book club or looking for a way to change your current one around a bit. It does help though, that we’ve got some really funny outgoing ladies in our group that keep us rolling in laughter most of the time. And I must admit it also doesn’t hurt that we’ve been doing theme drinks. For instance, March was my month to host (last night) and I chose We’re Just Like You Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle by Celia Rivenbark. A truly hysterical, LOL read if you are in the mood for one, BTW. With topics like why the Sopranno’s could never live down South, and what goes into big har (read hair for the non-southerners reading today), I really recommend her comical (though true!) observations and stories. But back to the drink. Since we were doing a Southern book, I decided I would serve Southern Porch Slammers. Truly, a real treat. And yes, I realize this is low-budget but once you taste it you will not be able to turn it away!

Southern Porch Slammer
-This is a 3-1 ratio
-3 parts beer (Beer!!) to 1 part frozen concentrate Limeade

I doubled the recipe so I just took my large stainless pitcher and added 6 beers and 2 cans of frozen concentrated limeade. I mixed it up really well and kept it in the fridge, until people arrived, then I served it in highball glasses over ice. You can also serve it with a wedge of lime, but alas, I forgot the fresh lime when I was grocery shopping earlier. This is the BEST light summer drink to cool you off and you know monogram momma would not steer you wrong. But if you want to add a little vodka to it, you can do that also, but the name then changes to a Skip and Go Naked. Either way, whether you decide to slam it on the front porch or skip and go naked, this book gets 4 stars from mm.

Reader Requests: Breaking up Is Hard to Do

I hope you’ll understand, but today I’m going to put Martha on the sideburner to address a reader request. Read ahead and I’m sure you’ll understand. Someone out there needs some girlfriend help and monogram momma is not about to abandon a fellow mom and heartbroken girlfriend.

Anonymous said:
Have been reading your site for a while and appreciate your humor and dedication to family. I need a little advice...I am also a SAHM, 6 y/o daughter and twin girls who are five (yes, I am busy). Husband has big desk and big job. I rely on friends for support. But I feel two friends slipping away. They socialize without me and the daily phone calls to each other are happening less and less. This is BREAKING MY HEART. I have tried to be subtle in asking if I have offended anyone but they insist nothing is wrong, obviously something is off. I really don't want to lose these friends. I am 41 y/o and true friends are few at this age. Please...send some age advice.


I’ve been thinking about this a lot and really appreciate your question. And candor for that matter. Doesn’t growing up really stink sometimes? And it’s especially hard to maintain close girlfriend relationships especially once we throw a few kids into the mix because life just get so crazy busy. Don’t I know it. It almost makes me think 7th grade catfights and note passing were just a foreshadowing of things to come. I mean, why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t women be nice to one another? I suppose that’s the million dollar question. But I assure you, you are not alone.

About 10 months ago I went through this exact same thing. I mean EXACT. It was devastatingly heartbreaking so I completely know what you are feeling right now. And it makes it so much worse when the friends won’t respect you enough to tell you what is wrong or why they seem to be shutting you out. For nearly a year there were three of us that were inseparable (as were our children), and then all of the sudden, like you mentioned, phone calls were coming to a halt, I was being excluded from things, and Mr. Monogram & I were being excluded from couples get-togethers also with this group. To make matters worse, when I asked one of the girls what was going on and let her know my feelings were really hurt, she just tried to blow it off and make up one lie after another (and I think you know how I feel about lying). That was the other thing. They were not only excluding me, but then lying about what they had done too. Like they were sneaking around. And I suppose that was the party that really hurt the most. Talk about kicking a dog when she’s down!

To me, I look for the same thing in a friend that I would in a mate or someone I would have a relationship with. Honesty, integrity, loyalty, sense of humor, values, someone who’s down to earth, someone who I can respect and will respect me back, someone I can count on, etc. Those things are equally as important and double sided in a friendship I think. I mean, it’s not fair to expect those things of other people if they can’t expect them from you. And if you can’t count on your friends having your back and looking past a few of your imperfections, then really, are they truly your friends? The answer is no. Sometimes it just takes us women a little while to figure that out about people.

So just like breaking up in a relationship deserves an explanation, so does breaking up or severing a friendship. These girls should have enough respect for you to tell you what is wrong. Even if they just want space. They owe that to you as a friend. Wouldn’t you rather know and be hurt than not-know and just continue to be excluded? The pain just drags out forever, like slowly ripping off a bandaid as opposed to just quickly ripping it off. Unfortunately, some people, as was the case with these friends of mine, don’t know how to handle mature adult, friendly confrontation. And instead of being able to talk to me about it and accept their responsibility of how they were mistreating me, they decided to bury their heads in the sand and just avoid the whole situation all together and insist nothing was wrong (yeah, right). After a few whole-hearted attempts on my behalf really honestly talking to one of the girls (the follower, we’ll call her) and getting absolutely nowhere (sure, she would apologize but how sincere is it when she turns around and excludes me and lies to me a few days later and then stops communicating with me?), I just decided that I had to protect myself and my own feelings, and quietly pull myself away and stop calling. Naturally, they never called me either. It was the only thing left to do, since they’d made me feel like they didn’t need my friendship anymore anyway. They had already done an excellent job of pushing me away (not calling, returning calls, or being invited to do things will do that, no?), it’s just that I wasn’t ready to accept it because I really counted and relied on these relationships and wasn’t ready to bid them farewell. If I did that, then it meant I would be alone and lonely again with no *real* local friends and would be right back to where I started when I moved here (which essentially consisted of accosting moms at the park who seemed friendly and had nice children the mini’s ages).

In my case, there was one girl who was the ring leader and the other who you can tell, has never been anything other than a follower her whole life (which is the last thing you could ever say about monogram momma, that’s for sure). Why would that change in adulthood? Well, it doesn’t for those people who can’t seem to think or do anything on their own and always need the approval of someone else. And the “ring leader” gal was the type who is always looking for the next best thing. They type who thinks the grass is always greener on the other side of the mountain, and won’t hesitate to replace a friend if she comes across a newer, shinier, prettier, [skinnier] funnier new model. Oh she’ll do it slowly so you really have no idea what’s going on, as they did this exact same thing to another girl before I came into the mix, but she’ll do it all the same, time and time again. But monogram momma doesn’t work that way! If you’ll remember, I’ve mentioned several times that I’ve got a great group of prep school friends. We’ve been together nearly 20 years now, and in that time, have been through dating, puberty, first dates, heartbreaks, first kisses, tons of groundings from our parents, two parents dying from cancer, college, a divorce, babies, etc. Basically, every single milestone since we were kids, has been shared together and at this point in our relationships, there isn’t anything we can’t say to one another. So knowing that I know how to maintain a lifelong friendship and the fact that these girls really don’t have any friends they’ve kept longer than 4 years, is also something I keep in mind. It’s not my fault. This friendship breakup was not my fault and I did everything I could to save it and talk it out and figure out what went wrong. Some girls, no matter how much we want them to remain our friends and we count on them, and no matter how many fun memories we have together, just don’t know how to maintain a long term relationship with other women and get bored and start looking for replacements. Sad, but true.

I’m not a therapist, so all I can do is tell you my own experiences and how I’ve dealt with it and offer you some advise. You can take it or leave it; the choice is yours. But if you want to save these friendships, then really sit down and talk to them. Don’t step around it on tip-toes and just assume that they know you’re hurt. Really sit down for a girls lunch out without the kids and just tell them sweetly that your feelings are hurt and you want to know what’s going on. Don’t just accept their “oh, don’t be silly, everything is fine!” at face value. Tell them that you respect and value their friendships, and thought that they did too. But that they really need to be able to talk to you about what’s going on so you can move past it. You have to approach it as you would any relationship worthy of saving, and tell them how important they are to you as well. If they are sincere about saving your relationship and nothing being wrong, then they will make an honest effort. Put the ball in their court. Wait and see when they call you after the sit-down conversation. If they were sincere that nothing is wrong, then they will pick up the phone and call you to make the effort. If they still continue hurting you, then maybe it’s time to consider that your friends too, are seeking out a greener pasture, no matter how much that hurts (and believe me, I know how much that hurts, girlfriend).

I don’t know how often you see these girls, but in my case, I have to see these women at pre-school 3 times a week. Ughhh. And while it was very difficult at the beginning of the year, I don’t let it bother me any more because I know that I tried everything I could to save those relationships but got nothing back from them on their end, other than lots of lies and excuses. I don’t have to look down at the ground or off to the left in avoidance when I pass them (nope, I’m holding my head high and looking straight ahead!). And you know what? I’m better than that, and so are you! I know I’m a great friend and I have a lot to offer. I know that I go out of my way to help out my friends and support them, but that I also deserve the same thing in return from people. You have to take care of yourself too, and if you’re not being treated with equal respect and thoughtfulness by these friends, then maybe they aren’t the people you thought they were or are worth staying so hurt over. **Right now Britney Spears’ song “Toxic” comes to mind. **

So what do you do next if they still continue to snub you? Well, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. No matter how bad it hurts-and it will hurt. You have to take the high road and smile and wave when you see them, but still protect yourself and not go out of your way for them anymore. You have to stay tight-lipped about them when you are in the presence of mutual friends, and just continue to plow through life, keeping an open heart for new friends. I was so fortunate to be able to connect and find some really fabulous new friends, that I really enjoy being with, and you will too. And lucky for us, there are also some great books you can pick up too (which I’ve scattered into the post here so go have a look-see at them when you get a chance). So whether you pick these up for yourself or have them drop-shipped to these ladie's houses from Amazon as a little subliminal message (he he he), something in these books I’ve included might also just be what you need.

I don’t know if you read it, but when I was asked about sanity and friendships from The Family Groove, I replied, “I will admit, there are plenty of days I am not quite sane at all. Having two children in a year and a half will do that to you, no? But for me, that's where my friendships come into play and why they are so important. Good friends can tell you you're not alone and let you complain and whine about your lack of sanity and how you accidentally put the milk in the microwave and your keys in the refrigerator. Then they'll come pick up your kids for you while you look for said missing keys and thus give you time to try to regroup and reclaim your sanity (or what is left of it anyway). The playground can be just as difficult and childish for moms as it can be for our kids. Let's face it, the sandbox is a tough place—full of judgmental, cliquey, catty women—so it's often times difficult to find that groove and group of your own, but it's so important. I am so lucky to have a great supportive group of friends, both with and without children to support me, and to support one another.”

So just remember, the playground IS full of cliquey, catty women and you’re not alone in dealing with these issues with other women. And no, unfortunately it doesn’t get any easier as we get older. I don’t know why I ever thought it would, but I sure was under that false illusion. One day, talking to one of my best friends from prep school, Ashley, I was telling her how I felt like I had to let go of a friendship with another girl. I felt so bad about it and it had been coming for years and years, but the bottom line was, it wasn’t a real healthy or honest relationship for me to be in anymore. Meaning, she always had a hard time being honest and always came across like she felt she has to be super competitive with me and my life. And if you’re my friend, then I just don’t care. There’s no competition, we’re friends and equals and you should just not lie to me about things in your life. I don’t care how much your husband makes, nor do I want to talk about it (especially if I know you are lying through your teeth about it too). It just isn’t appropriate. So chatting with Ashley, and telling her it was really hard for me to do this, she said something that made me feel a lot better. She said that she is all about ending bad friendships, and just doesn’t feel bad anymore about having to sever relationships that aren’t giving her anything in return. Life is too short and she’s worth more than that. And she’s right. I shouldn’t feel bad about severing a friendship that is making me feel bad all the time. And you shouldn’t feel bad either, if it’s what you need to feel better about yourself.

Look, I sooooooooooo understand the importance and value you put on your friends as a support system. Mr. Monogram also has a “big desk job” as you put it, and lately he’s been sitting behind said desk for 13-15 hours a day and stuck with that damn cell-phone to his ear all time too. I live in a city with no family either, so I have to rely on my friends a lot of days to give me the interaction and support and camaraderie that I so desperately need. You know the old saying “It takes a Village” and you and I both know, it really DOES take a village to raise children. I hope you can find your “village” and find the resolution and peace with these ladies that you both need and deserve. I really hope it works out and they come around becase I knwo that's what you want. Good luck, and if you ever want to chat more about what you’re going through, always feel free to email me because I have been there before, and I’m sure I’ll be there again.

P.S. Tomorrow we're jumping right back into creative crafty things and preppy projects so start your engines!

Mommy Time & Things I Love Today

Whew! What a busy day! And no, I didn't forget about you all. But since today was the first day in 5 straight day's that I've had a little break from the mini monograms, I had a lot of running around to do. Believe you me, it takes twice as long to get errands run when you've got two little monograms to get in and out of car seats.

And it's not like my day was all that interesting, but I feel slightly invigorated after having some much needed mommy-time today. I had an impromtu chai tea latte at Starbucks with another pre-school mom which was great fun, then I headed to the mall where I got some really fabulous deals on cute cable-knit sweaters in all my favorite colors, and was even able to pick up a little something to wear out for my Anniversary dinner this weekend. After that, I met up with Mr. Monogram to look at some "big boy" furniture for mini #2. Good news. I think we've *finally* settled on a big boy bed for him. Yeah! More to come on that later, when I tackle the oh so *exciting* adventures of re-decorating his room. But that's enough about my boring day because it's been a while since I shared a few things that I love today.

Ribbon Cuff Bracelets by Creative Ta Da
I think we’ve all seen the more expensive Franklin & Abbey version of these preppy cuff bracelets, but when I spotted these at a little holiday boutique show where there were people from all over the SE displaying their products, the owner had no idea these already existed. Hers are almost exactly like the F&A ones but on the plus side, they are significantly less. Now, I will say, she did not have hers monogrammed, but I suggested she offer that and here’s hoping she does because these little monogrammed ribbon cuffs are perfect little holiday gifts or stocking stuffers. I know my babysitters would love to have these (ok, well I want one first, and thenI’ll buy one for them too).

I Like you: Hospitality Under the Influence
Who says hospitality has to mean stuffy and boring? Not with Amy Sedaris it doesn’t! This book is supposed to be good LOL reading complete with entertaining tips, recipes, and hysterical pictures of Amy, sister of the famous David Sedaris. It’s definiltely on my gift giving list this year. Scroll through the pictures on amazon and you’ll get a real kick out of some of the book insets they show!

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Solas Handbags
As any good celebrity gossip stalker (coughMe) should know, it is most important to know what the celeb set is wearing, carrying, drinking, and sharing. And that means these Solas bags. While I love the cute little clutch and it’s perfect for the holiday’s, I don’t exactly live a jet-setting celebrity life with Mr. Monogram and the Mini monograms, and sadly, I don’t think this bag would come in handy for playgroup (nor do I think it would hold a diaper or wipe, which is of the utmost importance in my life these days). But basically, it’s a bag with a light. It’s like going into a bathroom that has one of those lights on sensor so when you open the door, the light automaticall pops on. No more fiddling in your purse in the dark movie theater again!

Myself Belt
Any parent with a child in between 2 and 5 knows how hard it is for little fingers to maneuver a belt. Even those cute preppy grosgrain belts that we all know and love and put on our kids, are often difficult for young ones to figure out how to fasten once they’ve done their business and received their potty treat. Even my mini’s come wondering out of the bathroom, belt hanging apart needing me to fasten it again. So MAJOR hats off to the designer of these belts who make it oh so simple for any toddler to fasten and unfasten their own belt!

Book Club Quandry

So as you may or may not recall, I partake in a monthly book club w/ my MOM’s Club group, which let me just say right now, I enjoy very much. However, that being said, am I the only one on the planet who can pick a decent book? It’s like each host is in a top secret competition to see who can pick the longest, most boring, “best selling” book. And you want to know what the prize ends up being? NO ONE WANTS TO SHOW UP FOR THAT BOOK CLUB BECAUSE NO ONE READ THE LOUSY BOOK. I mean come ON, do you really think I am not only NOT going to want to read Middlesex, but ENJOY it at that? Which FYI, no one enjoyed that book, not even the host who picked it, and ¾ of the people didn’t even finish it so we ended up talking about our first menstrual cycles and embarrassing puberty moments. Actually I sort of sat there blushing on the sofa as I tend to be somewhat of a prude, but everyone else sure was happy sharing the gory details.

And that leads me to The Red Tent. Okay, SERIOUSLY. The entire book was about women menstruating in biblical days. There was nothing enjoyable what-so-ever about that book for me. I suffered through the entire book along with the characters, just WAITING for it to pick up somewhere, but alas, found myself at the end of the book saying “That’s it?” Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want to come off shallow here, as I really am an intelligent person, and I really do like being challenged in my thinking when I read books. I do enjoy reading books out of my laugh-out-loud pretend the world is a perfectly cheery place type of humorous books. But can we stop with the boring book competition? Stay at home Mom’s are dropping like flies from book club!

Last month we reviewed Daniel Isn’t Talking by Marti Leimbach and it was ok. The main character really had a creep for a husband which is unfortunate since she pretty much had her hands full with two young children, one of them being autistic (who wasn’t diagnosed as such until he was something like 3).

Anyhoo, this month we are onto the ever *exciting* The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards which so far is as predictable as the last book. And from the looks of it, next months selection, My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult seems to be nearly interchangeable as well with these other two books. I mean seriously. Why can’t someone pick a classic like Catcher in the Rye or The Great Gatsby to revisit in book club. Am I the only one who is noticing less and less people coming to book club? I know I’ve speculated about my superhuman powers before, but just as being invisible isn’t one of my special powers, neither is it anyone else’s in book club (at least I feel pretty sure about that anyway).

Okay okay. So all this has nothing to do with great finds or fun projects or anything even REMOTELY Martha related. So, please excuse the rant today. But it’s Friday so I’m letting my creative juices pool a little today so I can give you guys some great projects and ideas next week and this means I plan on doing a lot of reading today. This weekend I’m going to be in full-fledged Fall decorating mode so I will have lots to share next week. So fasten your seat belts and get ready for the ride next week!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got my own seatbelt to buckle to drop mini monogram #1 off at pre-school and take mini #2 to have some fun and jump on the trampolines for play time at the gymnastics place, then go pick up a few new books to liven up my nightstand selection. See you next week for lots of Fall fun!

Summer Reading List Addendum

WARNING: Scroll down and read my "Summer Reading List" before you read the addendum!
Well I'm back, fresh from my new bookstore and I found so many more must have books, I had to add them to my Summer Reading List. So I pulled out my ever-handy and ever present notebook that I keep in my bag (today it is my stylish paisley Ralph Laruen bag, btw), and jotted down a few more books that I am eager to buy and pass along as well. So here goes(again, in no particular order)...

First of all, I can't believe I forgot to recommend ANYTHING at all by Mary Higgins Clark if you are in a light mystery type of mood. I have been a huge fan of hers for years and her books are quick and easy to read.

24 Karat Kids by Judy Goldstein & Sebastian Stuart. This looks really funny and got rave reviews so therefore, made it's way into my shopping basket.

My Latest Grievance by Eleanor Lipman. Admittedly, I only read the back cover, but it peeked my interest enough to warrant making my list.

Target Underwear and a Vera Wang Gown by Adena Halpern. How on earth could this possibly be bad with a title like that! You know I just had to pick it up!

Daily Candy A-Z: An Insiders Guide to the Sweet Life by the editors of Daily Candy. This book had the funnest things in it when I thumbed through it. If you haven't checked out this site yet since I mentioned it last week, it really is a MUST. And although I know you all despise email spam like I do, get on their daily email list and you will be privy to loads of secret sales and discounts and tips and tricks to that sweeter life, which is always a very "good thing."

Summer Crossing: A Novel by Truman Capote. Even if you don't like Truman Capote, I feel confident you'll love this book. It looks like a great, light summer read. I don't anticipate there being too much humor, but you had to know I would throw in something classic, right?

Vroom with a View: In Search of Italy's Dolce Vita on a '61 Vespa by Peter Moore. I just HAD to add this to my list not only as an Italian who has made a few trips to Italy herself, but mostly for my sister #2 and my dad, who can frequently be seen buzzing around on their own vespas and would get a kick out of this book! So hop on a take the ride!

Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons byLorna Landvik. I know, this was already on my Summer Must Have's List, but I felt it deserved a spot on my Summer Reading List because I really enjoyed it and I think you will too.

Ok, so now that i've blown my budget this week at the bookstore (why oh why, does this always get me into trouble?!) I'm happy to pass along this list to help you blow your weekly budget too. But the good news is tomorrow is friday and that means my budget starts over. O God, Martha is cooking fresh lobster w/ Gabby's husband from "Desperate Housewives" and wearing the most adorable red & white striped lobster apron. Must go so I can find where she got them!

Summer Reading (even Martha would enjoy!)

If you haven’t figured it out already, the mini monograms go to a summer camp on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so most of my free time on those days is spent running errands, shopping, lunching with friends, etc. I mean seriously, do you have any idea how much work it is to get the mini monograms in and out of car seats and in and out of a double stroller to run a gaggle of errands? Well it is no small feat, that’s for sure, and it certainly doesn’t make for very happy mini monograms either. Believe you me, it will make you one exhausted monogram momma who is then in desperate need of a cocktail and nap herself once 1:30 rolls around. So today is going to be much like any other Tuesday or Thursday and after I drop off the mini monograms, I am taking preppy puppy to get her nails trimmed, then pop into Mr. Monogram’s office to drop off my parent’s princess puppy so he can drive her ½ way to meet my mom today, and then I’m heading to the bookstore. And yes, preppy puppy will most likely accompany me there as well, since she likes to go just about everywhere with me and makes such a great accessory (and besides, do you really think they’re going to stop me when I walk into their bookstore with an 80 lb dog to buy a handful of books? I think not).

Which leads me to my topic of choice for today. It was suggested to me by a certain someone that I do a summer reading list. I know just those three words “SUMMER READING LIST” conjures up very bad memories for me as well, of being forced to read half a dozen painfully boring “classics” of American and European literature, only to be tested by written exam in essay form on the very first day of school. Oh yes, the VERY first day. Nothing says welcome back to school like an exam on the first day (throw in a scolding that your uniform skirt is too short and your loafers need to be shined and you’ve got yourself the start to a phenomenal year). But now that I’m an adult, I love to read. I think I love it because I have the choice to read whatever I want and nobody’s holding my GPA over my head. And I’ll admit, I’ve even revisited some of the classics like John Steinbeck’s grueling six hundred and eight pages of “East of Eden” and “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee which we dissected in my MOM’S Club book club a couple months ago. And even though my book club selection for this month is “Middlesex” by Jeffrey Eugenides, during the summer, I really prefer some lighter, funnier, peppier, and preppier reading while I’m sunning poolside with my Hawaiian Tropic #4. Don’t get me wrong, I really like books that challenge me and make me think about the foreshadowing and life lessons (btw, go pick up “The Glass Castle” by Jeanette Walls if you’re looking for one of those books), just not while I’m trying to relax during the summer. Come on people, even Martha needs to relax and clear her head sometimes, and I chose to believe that she does this as I do, with some fun summer reading. So in no particular order, here is my Summer Reading List for you, my fellow monogrammers.

The Nanny Diaries: A Novel by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus. Yes ,yes, most of you have read this one and the movie will be coming out sometime in the near future, which is why it’s on my Summer Reading List. I really enjoyed it although I ended up crying in the end.

Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office (Paperback). by Jen Lancaster Many thanks to an old prep school pal, Laura, for insisting I pick this one up. I can’t wait to crack the binding on it!

I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl (Paperback) by Laurie Notaro. Do I really need to explain why I think this is going to make for some fantastic beach chair reading? The title just grabs you by the arm and screams for you to open it up!

The Day I Turned Uncool: Confessions of a Reluctant Grown-up (Paperback) by Dan Zevin. I believe this probably describes most of us and is supposed to be hysterical. Therefore, it’s made my cut.

SHOPAHOLIC 3C TR BOX SET (Paperback) by Sophie Kinsella. Seriously, laugh out loud hysterical. Do not walk, but RUN to your local bookstore if you haven’t picked up this set of three yet (Confessions of a Shopoholic, Shopoholic Takes Manhattan, and Shopoholic Ties the Knot). I am waiting with baited breath for the next in the series to come out next February!

Good in Bed (Paperback) by Jennifer Weiner. If she writes it, monogram momma will come.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells. Another oldie but goodie. One of my all-time favorite books that makes me homesick for my own Ya-Ya’s.

Prep: A Novel (Paperback) by Curtis Sittenfeld. If you read my Summer Must Have list, which you certainly should have by now, then you will already know how I feel about this one. You’ll also know that I totally picked it up because of the pink and green ribbon belt on the cover, but really ended up liking this book a lot. Think “Catcher in the Rye” circa 1990 meets a female lead.

The Official Preppy Handbook (Hardcover). Seriously. Need I say more?

This is by no means a complete list and I’m quite certain I’ll have more to recommend after I return from the bookstore this morning so check back and see what other good reads I find. And I fully expect you to let us all know if you too have a book that you think should be added to this list. And without having to tote the mini monograms and that 500 pound double stroller into the bookstore and spend my time in the children’s section, with the mini’s at summer camp today, preppy puppy and I can have a nice cup of tea and enjoy our time perusing through the aisles! And not to worry, I will not require a written essay on any books on my Summer Reading List (do make sure your loafers are properly shined though and have a crisp new penny in them).

Summer Must Have's

Is it possible that I am related to Martha? I mean really? Here, I have been mentioning for a week now that I was going to give you my list of Monogram Momma’s Summer Must Have’s, and lo and behold, Martha beat me to it! I swear, it’s like we share a brain sometimes (*sigh* if only she would share her bank account too, I would be most appreciative). Note to self: Take A.D.D. medication and check out family tree to see if there is any POSSIBLE way that Martha is really Italian and related to me.What? It could happen! At any rate, apparently she was on the Today Show at the beginning of the summer with her own list of Summer Must Have’s, which I unfortunately missed. I also can’t seem to find the actual list anywhere on the internet, but only mention of said list. So if you happen to know its whereabouts, please pass it along. I would be most appreciative (perhaps it’s hiding with baby Suri?). So here goes...

1. Lands End Open Top Totes (monogrammed, of course).
2. Lands End Sea to Shore shoes. We bought these for my mom and she loves them. They are the BEST for walking on the beach (sans socks) and running around, have easy bungee cord type laces, fully mesh breathable fabric, and anti-microbacterial. They’ve simply thought of everything!
3. Ralph Lauren “Create Your Own” collection of monogrammed polo’s (it’s about time!). I am all about the classic fit polo, however, if the price is a bit steep for you, then I think it’s perfectly fine to buy the regular classic fit polo and take it to be monogrammed yourself
4. Cute headbands like these from Chesapeake Rose (I bought the green & navy stripe, then also had them do one in a navy & red lobster print to wear to Alyson’s son’s lobster themed b’day party) and Susan Towner (you know I love my madras!).
5. The ever preppy little whale notebook for my purse from Rock Scissor Paper to feed my obsessive compulsive list-making habit (because monogram momma can always be found with a notebook of some kind in her purse!)
6. I’m waiting on pins and needles for the new Blueprint magazine to come out from Martha, as I expect you should be too. It’s a Martha Stewart Living magazine but for the slightly younger set, giving us step by step guides on “good things” and must haves and where and how to get them. Order your subscription today! And while you’re at it, I highly recommend Domino magazine as well. While the current months issue doesn’t really excite me, this is a fantastic decorating and shopping magazine that I always try to pick up.
7. Well you had to know flip flops would be on this list. And my favorite pair this summer has been a pair my sister bought me at Nordstrom by Silly Sandals, called “Take Wing” from the Karen Gray Collection. But for my everyday flip flops, I simply can’t live without my ToeGoz or pink and lime green striped Eliza B flip flops from Lauren Nicole. And as an added bonus, they are also monogramable which you know I must have! But so many people are hopping on the flip flop bandwagon, that you can even find cute ones at LL Bean this year (such as the cottage red dog to look good with preppy puppy) and J. Crew. And as a side note, if you call the J. Crew outlet right now, they’ve got their cute preppy striped and silk tie flip flops on sale and they’ll have the men in brown deliver them right to your door.
8. Who was the genius who invented the Coppertone Continuous Spray? Well it is certainly a summer must have in my little monogrammed book because it makes lubing up the mini monograms so much easier! Now, of course I use 30 for the minis, but I’m a bit “old school” so I still prefer to use the Hawaiian Tropic #4 Dark Tanning Lotion on myself. I’ve been a loyal and devoted “HT” customer for as long as I can remember. Yes, I know about sun Cancer. Yes, I know about wrinkles. I figure that eventually I’ll just get a face lift and it will solve my problem, so please don’t email me and tell me you think I’m stupid. If you too, were able to achieve that “natural tan of the islands,” then you would use it too.
9. Naturally, I have to put my monogrammed drink bucket on this list, because it is a staple of summer entertaining in my home, as it should be in yours as well (still waiting on pictures of your buckets, people!).
10. You will also be needing some preppy reading, and in fact, I’ve just finished a book titled Prep by Cutis Sittenfeld that I really enjoyed. Honestly, the cover with the pink and green ribbon belt is what initially drew me to the book like a guiding beacon of light, but it turned out to be really good. I also highly recommend the Shopaholic series of books by Sophie Kinsella for some fun, LOL reading. And another really great one is Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons which is about a group of housewives who start their own book club. What could be better than that?
11. I LOVE Burts Bees Beeswax Lip Balm. I love how moist it keeps my lips during the summer and winter months. I keep one in the cup holder in my car and also my beach bag, so I’ve always got one on hand. Even the mini monograms give this one their kiss of approval.
12. I can’t help myself when the summer bags come out and every year I buy a new one to start off my summer. Last summer it was a cute Lilly bag, but this summer I bought a super cute pink Coach bag that I love. I love the shape, size, and colors, thus making it a summer must have for me!

Naturally there are a million more items I could put on my summer Must Have list, but these are just my summer staples. If you want me to do a summer must have list for the mini monograms or have any other project requests for that matter, send me an email at monogrammomma@charter.net or just leave a comment. Anyhow, today we are planning another laid back Friday at the pool. Yes, I do realize I spend a lot of time at the pool. But if you should decide to go to the pool yourself today, I’ll be the one in the pink swimsuit with the matching mini monograms, reading my copy of Blueprint in the baby pool. You’ll no doubt, know it’s me by the pink and green flip flops and ever controversial bottle of Hawaiian Tropic #4 sitting next to me as I keep working on my island tan.