Thank you, but I'm Not Interested

Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table with the mini's and the phone rang. It read, "Private Caller." I typically don't answer if I don't know who it is, but for some reason I picked it up and it was a random Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I really wasn't in the mood to chit-chat so I just told them I was sitting down to dinner with my children and it really wasn't a good time (both true). Avoidance, table for 1, please! But lately, I've noticed a high frequency of these calls from one cancer group or another, a heart disease foundation, the firemen, the police (is it me or are there a gazillion different police organizations who call, too?), the Humane Society, etc.

I used to feel like I had to pledge to give every Tom, Dick, or Harry who called some sort of monetary donation or else I would be setting myself up for bad karma. You know, like karma saying to itself "uh oh, Mrs. Monogram declined to give to the Leukemia Foundation so now I must have it hit closer to home for her to learn her lesson!"

But you know what? I just can't do that anymore. At what point do you say 'enough is enough' and tell them the big N-O? Let's face it, times are tough right now and the Monogram household is no exception, I promise you that. And we do have our charities we give to. We give a significant amount of money to United Way and Catholic Charities, but quite simply, I can't give to everyone. If it was as simple as just saying "I'm sorry, but I can't donate to your cause" that would be one thing. But these people who call are clever. They have every angle worked out and lay out every option for me to donate, thus making it impossible to turn them down. Damn that threat of karma hanging over my head!

So here's what I want to know...How do you politely decline to donate?

Tuesday Thoughts: Facebook Friend or Foe?

Honestly, I am completely disinterested in blogging right now because I still have one child at home who doesn't start school for another week and I'm exhausted from staying up too late watching the Olympics. WHHHHHHHHHHHHEN will the day get here! Anyhow, I wanted to throw a question out there to all my fellow Crackbook I mean, Facebook addicts....

Q. What do you do when someone requests your "friendship" but you aren't exactly fond of them? Let's say you haven't been friends for something like 14 years to be exact and this person is suddenly crawling out of the wood works to try to get her old friends back after pretty much ditching everyone and turning into the spoiled brat that perhaps she always was. And lets also say that you know this person just wants to "befriend" you (let's get real and use this term "friend" on Facebook loosely, okay?), just to be nosey.

Discuss...

Here's How it Went Down..

Thanks for all the advise and comments! It's god to know I'm not completely crazy (or that we are all perhaps crazy together???) and had some great support and feedback in this matter. Anyway, the store owner finally called me back this evening and here's how it went down...

ME: HI! I don’t know if you received the email I sent to you about 4-5 hours ago, but I have a friend who lives in the area near your store who receives your promotional emails. Imagine her surprise when she received your current 10% off coupon and on your advertisement was a photo of my of my children and I happen to live out of state and have never been in your store.

SO (store owner): Umm, what photo are you talking about? What ad are you talking about?

ME: The current 10% coupon that was just emailed to your customers this morning.

SO: OHHH. That picture?

ME: Yes. THAT picture happens to be a personal photo of mine of my children that I took. Would you please tell me how and where you found that photo?

SO: Umm, I'm not really sure. I can’t remember. Maybe the internet? I don’t actually know…

ME: Well, as a business owner, you should know better. You should also know that you can not print any photo of any child under the age of 18 without the written consent of that child’s parent or guardian. In fact you can’t use any photo PERIOD, without giving credit to the photographer or source, or providing compensation as well.

SO: I just thought it was anonymous.

ME: ANONYMOUS? Uh, are you a mother by any chance?

SO: Yes. Yes I am.

ME: Then you should know that NO CHILD is anonymous.

I mean, I realize it is just a picture of their backs, but you should consider if that was a personal photo of yours of your children that ended up on an advertisement and how that would make you feel. As a mother my most important job is to protect my children and all of their interests. And now I have to wonder what other photo’s of my children are accessible and floating around that I don’t know about.

SO: You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have known better. This is a big lesson for me, too. I just thought it was anonymous and wasn’t really anybody

ME: Again, they are not anonymous; they are my children.

Have you used this photo for anything else at all? In any other ad’s???

SO: No. Only this one…In the future I will make sure I’m really careful. I am so sorry it will never happen again.

ME: Great. I am happy to hear that. If you would please remove the photo and not use it for anything in the future, I would appreciate it. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to use your own children for your advertising needs.

SO: You’re right. What was I thinking? This has been a big lesson for me.

ME: Okay well I’m happy to hear that. Just be careful going forward because someone else might not have been as nice as me and would suing you for using a photo of their very minor children.

SO: You’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you for calling. I won’t use it again.

ME: Thanks; Take care.

So ladies, that's all she wrote. I could tell by the sound of her voice she felt badly and didn't do it on purpose, so I didn't want to ask for compesation or scare her with lawyer talk. But she needed to know she was VERY wrong and I could tell on the phone she was scared and learned her lesson. Now, i think it's time for this mom to take off her cape for the day and settle in the for an (hopefully) uneventfull evening at home with the mini's.

What Would You Do?

UPDATE: Still no response back from the store owner as of 4:20 pm so now I'm on the hunt to give her a ring. I'll keep you posted!

So here's the story...

Somewhere along the line I forgot to mention that my best friend here where I live in Somewhere, SE, Cresta, moved away. She ended up moving NE of Atlanta to the Buford/Suwannee area. Yes I've been miserable and no I don't want to talk about it because that's not the point.

The point is, this morning Cresta forwarded me an email from a cute little gift shop very close to where she lives. The email was an advertisement for all their adorable monogrammed goods (and Scout bags too!) with a 10% off coupon. GREAT! What's not so great, is that they used a photo of MY CHILDREN on their advertisement. I've never in my life been in this store, and it is a photo that I personally took of my boys at OUR BEACH, so how the hell did they get this photo??? True, it is a photo of the back of them running down the boardwalk outside the beach house in their adorable little Strasburg jon-jon's holding hands, but still. My children. My picture. NOT my approval for usage.

I sent the owner a polite email asking her how she would have gotten that photo and explaining that they are my children and that is my personal photo. I am waiting to hear back from her, as to where and how she got one of my favorite pictures of my children to use for her store advertising. In the mean time, what would you do?

Thanks for the Thank You

I have to start out by giving myself a little pat on the back. I have been avoiding putting the mounds of folded laundry away by blaming it on all the holiday events and happenings that I’ve committed to doing, but this morning I really buckled down and started to make a nice dent in things. I’m not finished yet, and it also prompted me to semi-clean out and re-organize my disastrous closet, but I’m hopeful I’ll have things all wrapped up by this afternoon (provided, of course, I do not fall asleep during naptime and end up snoring-and I do mean snoring- the afternoon away). It’s also prompted lots of organization ideas and thoughts to start running through my head, so at Chloe’s request, I’ll be working on some organization tips and products for various areas of the home (don’t worry, Chloe, I’ll address your English Tea Paperie organization issue).

Anyway, now that the Holidays’ are over, I have a boat-load of thank you notes to write. Of course, it would really make my life a lot easier if the 3 & 4 year old could write their own thank-you notes, but until that happens (please, oh PLEASE when WILL that happen?!), it looks like it’s all up to me. And it’s fruitless for me to even attempt to get Mr. Monogram to share these duties as he is just too swamped with work goings on to be pestered by a few thank you notes that I, the stay at home mother, just can’t find the *time* to write. That would probably be a very hard sell if you know what I mean (as it is, I’m having a hard time explaining why exactly I haven’t managed to put away all the folded laundry that’s currently occupying our master bedroom).

So my goal is to have them all finished and in the mail by Saturday morning, but that means I need to hunker down and just do it. It’s not homework for goodness sake! It’s sitting down with my stationery (how do I love thee? Let me count the ways!)! And a pen! And writing a few heartfelt lines of written word to my family and friends who were so kind and generous to us all during the holidays! So with Tiger Woods on the brain, I will sit down and “Just Do It!”

And I’m sure you’ve got your fair share of thank-you’s to send out as well. Since a lot of people seem to find their way to Monogram Momma’s by Googling things such as etiquette and proper stationery and letter addressing verbiage, let me just make things simple and lay them all out right here for you (as an aside, I really must do an entry specifically on the crazy combo’s that people Google that actually somehow lead them to me. I swear you would not believe some of this stuff!).

Not to state the obvious, but thank you’s are sent to thank someone for a gift, having you as a dinner guest or for any small favor (see Ashley, I told you!). Not sure if you should send one? Then send it anyway just to be on the safe side. Of course, I should throw in here that I think it’s perfectly acceptable in this day and age that if a friend does you a favor such as picking up a gallon of milk for you, to send them a quick little email thanking them, in lieu of breaking out your expansive stationery collection of Crane or Whitney English.

When sending your thank you note, it is always best to write on either a small foldover note or on a correspondence card. A woman can properly use either one, but typically a man uses a correspondence card. But did you also know that there is an actual formula you should use to write the proper thank-you note? Yep (shaking my head), there sure is.

4 Parts to Writing the Proper Thank-you Note
(as shown in an example note to my nephew)

1) The greeting
Dear Andrew,

2) Appreciation of item or favor
Thank you so much for the frog you left in my shoe yesterday. What a thoughtful gesture!

3) Mention how useful it will be
I am so looking forward to putting him back in the yard to enjoy his company as I pull the summer weeds.

4) Sign off with a suggestion of future meeting (or rememberence from the past)
Uncle Monogram and I are very much looking forward to your next visit with us, and can’t wait to share even more adventures with you.
Love, Aunt Monogram

So now that the thank-you note is written, it’s time to wet the envelope, seal it with a kiss, address it and send it on its way via snail mail. But often times, addressing the envelope is where we get into trouble. There are so many options these days, so let’s just go over a few when addressing casual thank you notes in case you have any questions in your future correspondence.

Addressing Envleopes to Young Boys
1) Boy 12 & under
Master Matthew Dresden

2) 2 Boys 12 & under
Masters Matthew and John Dresden

3) Boy over 18
Mr. Matthew Dresden

4) 2 Boys over 18
Messrs. Matthew and John Desden

Addressing Envelopes to Young Girls

1) Girl 12 & under
Miss Sarah Dresden

2) 2 Girls 12 & under
Misses Sarah and Catherine Dresden

3) Girl over 18
Ms. Sarah Dresden

Addressing People Living Together but Not Married

1) This is old school/wedding envelope etiquette, but I use this one myself

Ms. Elizabeth Cook
Ms. Elizabeth Cook
>>>>>Indented address line 1
>>>>>>>>>>Double indented address line 2

Addressing Widows

1) Typically, a widow continues to use her husband’s name.
Mrs. Matthew Cook

Addressing Divorced Women

1) Old school etiquette dictates that a divorced woman who retained her married name post divorce, should use “Mrs.” Followed by her maiden and married names.
Mrs. Anderson Cook

2) Today, however, if a woman prefers, she may also add her first name into the mix if she opts to keep her married name.
Mrs. Elizabeth Anderson Cook

3) If the divorced woman drops her married name and reclaims her maiden name, then she also reclaims her middle name and you use “Ms” as you would to a single woman
Elizabeth Anne Anderson

Addressing a Married Couple

1) Straightforward addressing
Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Cook

2) Married couple where woman kept her maiden name
Ms. Elizabeth Cook
Mr. Matthew Cook
>>>>>Indented address line 1
>>>>>>>>>>Double indented address line 2

3) Married couple when both are Doctors
The Doctors Cook

4) Married couple when the woman is a Doctor (note: some women who are Dr’s prefer that they still be addressed as Mr. & Mrs.)

Dr. Elizabeth Cook
Mr. Matthew Cook
>>>>>Indented address line 1
>>>>>>>>>>Double indented address line 2

Now, in other important news worthy of sharing, last night I hit the local cinemaplex and saw The Holiday with my friend, Cresta. We’ve been trying to see this movie for weeks but our husband’s pesky schedules and then the holidays kept getting in our way. So anyway, once we sat through the umpteen previews of other movies we have now vowed to see, our movie began and really, it was so cute. We both really loved it, and it had so much humor and yes, even lots of tears. Neither one of us was prepared for that, so consider yourself warned, and if you don’t bring your pretty lace hankie with you when you go, then it’s you own fault. Also, can I just say what a treat it was to get fresh ice cream scooped out to us in the movie theater?! We were all over that like white on rice, let me tell you!

But sadly, there are no movies in our future today. It’s rainy and yucky here so the boys are donning their galoshes and we’re heading to the gymnastics place this morning. I can assure you I will NOT be jumping in that big pit of foam again either, as it took about 2 moms (one pushing my rear from behind, and one pulling from the top) to get me out of that damn disease pit last time. So monogram momma will be strictly sticking to the trampolines and bouncy running floor thingy today. Whew! Looks like I've got my exercise cut out for me today, and then I'm back to work on my thank-you notes later. Happy handwriting!

Reader Requests: Holiday Card Etiquette

So, would you believe that the 160 dog-gone pictures I ordered from Snapfish for our Christmas cards A) were printed with a glossy finish and not matte as I requested (I have an unnatural disdain for glossy ghigh sheen prints) and B) the color is so dark on mini #2’s face that it looks like there is a big shadow? UGHH! I feel like flinging them right back at the brown UPS truck that just pulled away from the driveway that delivered these things, but it’s a good thing I have better manners than that and that I also realize that desperate times call for desperate measures. And that means I need to suck it up and send it out as is. They really don’t look all that bad I guess, I just happen to be a tad picky about certain things, and my pictures are one of them. Whatever. It’s done. I need to move on from it (or put it on the short list of things I need to discuss in therapy next time).

But speaking of holiday cards, Susan emailed me with a holiday card etiquette question that I thought was a great one to share.

While showing my mother our holiday cards last night, she said “shouldn’t you have listed your husband’s name first and then yours?” I looked this up in Peggy Post and the only rule that I really found was that some people think the woman’s name should come first, some think the person writing the cards should sign their name last, and that if there are children involved, the father’s name always comes first. So, I don’t think I was wrong to put: Susan, hubby and puppy but I am wondering your opinion. On invitations, if a couple is hosting it would be listed Susan and husband last name, wouldn’t it?

When it comes to questions over written etiquette, I tend to always refer to my Crane's Blue Book of Stationery. It truly is a book I think everyone should own and I can tell you my own copy is both well worn and well loved. I hope you hedged a little bet over this because here's the deal. When sending a holiday card (or card in general), the woman's name should appear first (if using individual names), followed by her husband's name. If there are children, then their names should appear on the next line beneath their parents' names (of course, typing this I’m realizing I was in such a hurry to get mine printed I put Mr. M’s name first-YIKES! I'm now HORRIFIED!). Therefore, you are indeed correct!

Now, given what I've stated above, there are, as always, a few things to keep in mind. As you know, I tend to follow a hard line on traditional etiquette and wording and the proper placement of names and monograms. However, it is almost 2007 and the world has relaxed a bit, so in terms of Christmas cards being much more casual and fun these days (we are so lucky to have so many fantastic internet options!!) and not the basic ecru card it was in the past, I do think this is one of those times you can relax a little. In this day and age, sometimes a family is just too big to list all the members properly, sometimes there is only one parent, some times there may be 2 mom's or even two dads! So I think we have to keep those little things in mind a bit.

But like I said, congratulations, you are correct and I hope you won some money out of that bet!

Preparing Your Thanksgiving Table

Like many of you, I too, am busy preparing for Thanksgiving. Hence the delayed afternoon posts as of late (sorry). Since moving away from our family, we host my parents, and sister #2 and her family for 3 days of fun, games, food and yes, shopping. Of course that also means that we host the dogs as well so it’s a canine fiesta over here at Casa Monogram. And since I’ve been working on so many projects lately, my dining room table seems to have become a dumping ground for works in progress and I am quite frankly, afraid to go in there and start organizing. But it’s time to polish my sterling, and take out the formal china and crystal and start setting the table.

And that brings me to the topic of the day. So let’s start chatting about proper table setting etiquette and for the piece de résistance, I’ll give you a little peek at my thanksgiving table centerpiece and tell you how you too, can whip it up yourself in no time flat for either Thanksgiving or even Christmas.

Naturally, I headed straight over to the grand master of etiquette, Emily Post. And in case you didn’t know, there is actually an Emily Post Institute where you can take etiquette classes and learn all sorts of useful etiquette tips. Just something to keep in the back of your mind. I don’t know about you but I sure do know a few people who could stand a few days of classes from the EPI. Anyway, not the point. The point is, you will either be using a Basic Place Setting (which is your everyday setting), an informal Place Setting (what you would set if you were hosting a nice informal dinner party or casual holiday), or a Formal Place Setting (if you’re expecting President and Laura Bush, then I would opt for this one). So, since I am not expecting President and Mrs. Bush and it’s just going to a be a casual Thanksgiving this year with us enjoying our deep fried turkey (yes, I did just say DEEP FRIED), I will be setting my table informally. And just to make things easy, I’m going to lay it all out here for you to choose your preference for your holiday table, just as they’ve so nicely laid it out for us over at the Emily Post Institute.

Basic Place Setting

For a basic table setting, here are two great tricks to help you – or your kids – remember the order of plates and utensils:

1) Picture the word “FORKS.” The order, left to right is: F for Fork, O for Plate (the shape!), K for Knives and S for Spoons. (Okay – you have to forget the r, but you get the idea!)

2) Holding your hands in front of you, touch the tips of your thumbs to the tips of your forefinergers to make a lower case ‘b’ with your left hand and a lower case ‘d’ with your right hand. This reminds you that ‘bread and butter’ go to the left of the place setting and ‘drinks’ go on the right. Emily Post could have used that trick – she was often confused about which bread and butter belonged to her—and sometimes she used her neighbor’s! In which case, when it was called to her attention, she would say to the dismayed lady or gentleman, “Oh, I am always mixing them up. Here, please take mine!”

3) Some other things to know:
-Knife blades always face the plate
-The napkin goes to the left of the fork, or on the plate
-The bread and butter plate and knife are optional

Informal Place Setting

When an informal three-course dinner is served, the typical place setting includes these utensils and dishes:

Our illustration shows how a table would be set for the following menu:
Soup course
Salad or first course
Entrée
Dessert

a. Dinner plate: This is the ‘hub of the wheel’ and is usually the first thing to be set on the table. In our illustration, the dinner plate would be placed where the napkin is, with the napkin on top of the plate.

b. Two Forks: The forks are placed to the left of the plate. The dinner fork, the larger of the two forks, is used for the main course; the smaller fork is used for a salad or appetizer. The forks are arranged according to when you need to use them, following an ‘outside-in’ order. If the small fork is needed for an appetizer or a salad served before the main course, then it is placed on the left (outside) of the dinner fork; if the salad is served after the main course, then the small fork is placed to the right (inside) of the dinner fork, next to the plate.

c. Napkin: The napkin is folded or put in a napkin ring and placed either to the left of the forks or on the center of the dinner plate. Sometimes, a folded napkin is placed under the forks.

d. Dinner knife: The dinner knife is set immediately to the right of the plate, cutting edge facing inward. (If the main course is meat, a steak knife can take the place of the dinner knife.) At an informal meal, the dinner knife may be used for all courses, but a dirty knife should never be placed on the table, placemat or tablecloth.

e. Spoons: Spoons go to the right of the knife. In our illustration, soup is being served first, so the soupspoon goes to the far (outside) right of the dinner knife; the teaspoon or dessert spoon, which will be used last, goes to the left (inside) of the soupspoon, next to the dinner knife.

f. Glasses: Drinking glasses of any kind – water, wine, juice, ice tea – are placed at the top right of the dinner plate, above the knives and spoons.

Other dishes and utensils are optional, depending on what is being served, but may include:

g. Salad plate: This is placed to the left of the forks. If salad is to be eaten with the meal, you can forgo the salad plate and serve it directly on the dinner plate. However, if the entrée contains gravy or anything runny, it is better to serve the salad on a separate plate to keep things neater.

h. Bread plate with butter knife: If used, the bread plate goes above the forks, with the butter knife placed diagonally across the edge of plate, handle on the right side and blade facing down.

i. Dessert spoon and fork: These can be placed either horizontally above the dinner plate (the spoon on top with its handle facing to the right; the fork below with its handle facing left); or beside the plate. If placed beside the plate, the fork goes on the left side, closest to the plate (because it will be the last fork used) and the spoon goes on the right side of the plate, to the right of the dinner knife and to the left of the soupspoon.

j. Coffee cup and saucer: Our illustration shows a table setting that would be common in a restaurant serving a large number of people at once, with coffee being served during the meal. The coffee cup and saucer are placed above and to the right of the knife and spoons. At home, most people serve coffee after the meal. In that case the cups and saucers are brought to the table and placed above and to the right of the knife and spoons.

Formal Place Setting

The one rule for a formal table is for everything to be geometrically spaced: the centerpiece at the exact center; the place settings at equal distances; and the utensils balanced. Beyond these placements, you can vary flower arrangements and decorations as you like.

The placement of utensils is guided by the menu, the idea being that you use utensils in an “outside in” order. For the illustrated place setting here, the order of the menu is:
Appetizer: Shellfish
First Course: Soup or fruit
Fish Course
Entrée
Salad

a. Service Plate: This large plate, also called a charger, serves as an underplate for the plate holding the first course, which will be brought to the table. When the first course is cleared, the service plate remains until the plate holding the entrée is served, at which point the two plates are exchanged. The charger may serve as the underplate for several courses which precede the entrée.

b. Butter plate: The small butter plate is placed above the forks at the left of the place setting.

c. Dinner fork: The largest of the forks, also called the place fork, it is placed on the left of the plate. Other smaller forks for other courses are arranged to the left or right of the dinner fork, according to when they will be used.

d. Fish fork: If there is a fish course, this small fork is placed farthest to the left of the dinner fork because it is the first fork used.

e. Salad fork: If salad is served after the entrée, the small salad fork is placed to the right of the dinner fork, next to the plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the forks would be arranged (left to right): salad fork, fish fork, dinner fork.

f. Dinner knife: The large dinner knife is placed to the right of the dinner plate.

g. Fish knife: The specially shaped fish knife goes to the right of the dinner knife.

h. Salad knife: (Note: there is no salad knife in the illustration.) If used, according to the above menu, it would be placed to the left of the dinner fork, next to the dinner plate. If the salad is to be served first, and fish second, then the knives would be arranged (left to right):dinner knife, fish knife, salad knife.

i. Soup spoon or fruit spoon: If soup or fruit is served as a first course, then the accompanying spoon goes to the right of the knives.

j. Oyster fork: If shellfish are to be served, the oyster fork is set to the right of the spoons. Note: It is the only fork ever placed on the right of the plate.

k. Butter knife: This small spreader is paced diagonally on top of the butter plate, handle on the right and blade down.

l. Glasses: These can number up to five and are placed so that the smaller ones are in front. The water goblet (la) is placed directly above the knives. Just to the right goes a champagne flute (lb); In front of these are placed a red (lc) and/or white (ld) wine glass and a sherry glass (le)

m. Napkin: The napkin is placed on top of the charger (if one is used) or in the space for the plate.

In general:
Knife blades are always placed with the cutting edge toward the plate.

No more than three of any implement is ever placed on the table, except when an oyster fork is used in addition to three other forks. If more than three courses are served before dessert, then the utensil for the fourth course is brought in with the food; likewise the salad fork and knife may be brought in when the salad course is served.

Dessert spoons and forks are brought in on the dessert plate just before dessert is served.

So, now you're ready and able to set your Thanksgiving table. But what to use as a centerpiece is always an issue, right? And flowers get boring and even though I've still got my large flower pots at the front door full of pumpkins and squash and my bales of hay and 110 lb pumkpin and gourds are still adorning my walkway as well, I'm sort of pumpkin-ed out. Aren't you? So what I've decided to do instead this year, is bring in a little of mother nature and mix it with some feather glittery friends and voila! It's Thanksgiving at the Monogram home!

Supplies Needed:
-various colors of fine glitter
-glue
-small dixie cups for your glitter (one cup per color)
-small artists paintbrush
-crafting/decorating birds that are painted or feathered (I found mine in the floral department at JoAnn's Craft Store)
-Tree branch

Now, This centerpiece is very easy. So easy in fact, that last December when the mini monograms were just 2 & 3, they were able to help me with this project and had lots of fun with it. So to get started, first empty each color of glitter into it's own little dixie cup. Then put some glue in the bottom of a separate cup as well. My birds already came attached with alligator clips, so hopefully yours did too. if not, then you will need to pick up some floral wire for attaching them to the branch later. Basically all you do is paint on a little glue where ever you want there to be glitter. You can paint the glue on the birds head, you can glitter their wings, you can follow a specific color pattern on the bird, or glitter the whole dog gone thing if that's what you want to do. You really can't mess this one up.Do make sure you glitter it over a dixie cup to save yourself with the cleanup. And then pour any excess glitter back into it's respective cup since you really won't use as much as you anticipate.

Once they're all glittered, clip it to a sturdy piece of card stock to dry. Cleanu=3239>253>3<;>WSNRCG=3233378537396nu0mrj.jpg">n up your glitter and glue mess, wipe down your crafting area (I am a big believer of cleaning up as you craft or cook), then head outside to find the perfect branch while your birds are drying. I found my branch on the side of the road. My usually horrible eyesight actually didn't fail on me for once, so I made a u-turn, put on those hazard lights, hopped out and snagged myself a few good branches. You really need a nice sturdy branch, relatively straight so it will lay down the center of the table, with plenty of smaller limbs shooting off of it. Now, if you really want to get into the spirit of this cold weather, put a little spots of glue on the branch and limbs and douse them with white glitter to create a snowy branch.

So now you have your branch and your birds are dry. Randomly attach your birds to your branch and you're done! Of course, you know me and I wasn't happy stopping at that. So I laid mine down on my brown monogrammed linen table runner, sporadically placed a few red votives, then took the mini's outside to pick some fresh holly berries from my bushes in the yard. Once we clarified that these berries were not for eating, we were good to go! We colleceted lots of good berries and then I just placed them down the runner around my woodland bird centerpiece to make it even more festive. So as I said, I think I'm going to go with this centerpiece, and now I just need to work up a creative place card setting. Hmmmm....

Any ideas?

Reader Requests: Etiquette & Embroidery

Once again I find myself on a Monday morning just dying to share with you all my thoughts and ideas on tailgate entertaining (something we have perfected to a true art here in the South), but I can’t organize my thoughts enough this morning into finishing this post. So I swear I will do it tomorrow. Sit tight!

Anyhow, this weekend I did some really fun stuff with pumpkins which I am excited to share with you all as we were stuck inside all weekend long due to 3 days of torrential downpours. And let me tell you, three days of rain does not make for two happy mini monograms or Mr. Monogram either for that matter. But today the skies are clear and in the 60’s so we are planning on heading out to either the zoo or the park this morning which is why I really must be going. I’ve also got lofty aspirations of throwing together some fresh blueberry mini muffins in the oven for the mini monograms this morning too, so I better get going on that as I’ve abandoned my project mid-cycle to post this quick entry (well important things first, right?). So in the mean time, enjoy some reader requests and have a fabulous day. I’m off to play Martha in the kitchen.

George writes:
...I am writing you because I have an etiquette question, and I haven't really found an answer, and I wanted to know what you think.

My girlfriend and I are a newly-minted engaged couple, and since this is our first Christmas season with this status, I wanted to send joint Holiday cards. My question is whether or not you think this is proper, and if so, what is the proper way to sign, ie., Love, George and Venetia; Happy Holidays, George and Venetia, etc...


Congratulations on your recent engagement! This is a great question and one I haven't yet received. I will tell you that I tend to stick to the old school rules for pretty much everything when it comes to etiquette and what's proper and not, but the world seems to have relaxed a lot where etiquette is concerned (trust me when I tell you I could go on and on about this). In my opinion, no, it is not proper for you to send out a joint Christmas Card unless you are living together. If you are and have been living together prior to the engagement, then I do think by today's standards it's acceptable to send out joint cards. But only in that instance. If you are asking if I would personally do it, then my answer would have to be no. My husband and I were engaged before Christmas 9 years ago (yikes) and no, we did not send out joint Christmas Cards. But like I said, I tend to take a hard line on things such as this and I know the "audience" (for lack of better words) that my Christmas Cards and invitations are being sent to and what they expect of me.

Truly, nothing should be signed jointly until after you are married. All thank you notes prior to the wedding should be sent by the bride-to-be and while she should reference you (i.e.. "George and I love the beautiful silver candlesticks") in the thank you note, she should not sign your name along with her own. All thank-you's should be from her only (on her own stationary with her own monogram or maiden name), unless it is a close family friend or relative of yours. In this event, then some men will write the thank you note themselves, but again, you sign your name only and it should be sent on your personal stationary or cardstock. The joint married name or joint monogram should never be used until after the wedding (with a VERY FEW exceptions such as wedding invitations and wedding programs). I know this is a very old-fashioned stance on wedding thank-you's and again, plenty of people have a much more relaxed view on this and will disagree with me, but I just believe the old school rules are the way to go, especially since the people from our parents generation and older don't know that any other rules [sort-of] exist, so that's what they expect.

Ginny also writes:
I was wondering if you happen to own a monogram machine and if so which one? I have friends who own a Bernina and are very happy but I was curious as to your suggestions.

I have a computerized machine by Janome (MC 4800) that has tons of decorative stitches and does small monogramming in a block or script font, but not a full-fledged monogramming machine. When I was looking for a new machine, this machine met my home dec sewing needs to a "T" and I can't live without it! An embroidery only machine is something I am hoping to purchase in the near future though, as I spend a small fortune on all my monogramming as you can probably imagine. Janome actually has a new Memory Craft 11000 on the market that with a standard embroidery size of 8" x8" has the largest hoop and monogramming capability on the market. You can bet your bottom dollar I'll be giving that one a whirl!

I will say, I ADORE my machine and can't recommend Janome enough. It's so easy to use and has honestly made me a better sewer, if you can believe that! I looked high and low and I did try the Bernina's but did not like them for myself. One of the main things that was very important to me when I was buying a new machine was to have a drop-in loading bobbin. My last machine was a Husqvarna and the bobbin was IMPOSSIBLE to put in and was such a big pain in the rear end, and then a lot of time it would get all wound up and stuck. Talk about frustration! But anyway, the Bernina's I looked at had the old style bobbin loading system and I just did not want to do that again.

Another great brand you might want to look at is Babylock. They make great machines (sewing and also embroidery only machines) and I know several people who swear by those too. One last brand I have heard great things about for emrboidery only machines is the Brother brand. As a plus, these are also readilly available on ebay. The main thing is just to write a list of criteria of what's important to you in an embroidery machine and what you will mostly be using it for. Just like looking for a new car, sit down and "drive" each machine to make sure it feels good to you, is quiet, has adustable speed, look at each machines smalles and largest monogramming sizes, does it have internet capability, etc... Take your time and then go with the machine that fits all your own needs and drives the best to you and will make your sewing and embroidering not only easier, but more fun!

Good luck!

Reader Requests: Monogramming

Well it's Friday and I've just dropped off mini monogram #1 at pre-school, and and working on potty training mini #2 today. Lord help me, this is probably the only thing that stinks about parenting (quite literally, I might add). Potty Training. Ughh. Anyhow, I've received lots of great questions lately so I'm pulling out a few reader requests today as I've got to rush upstairs and start brushing up on my "pee-pee dance" performance for mini #2. I know you're all envious, you don't even have to say it.

Allie writes:
Here is a question for you:
Where do you stand on the joint married monogram for things such as glassware and linens? I have always gone with the standard of the man's initials on glassware and the woman's on linens, but my husband thinks that we should use our joint monogram on things since we "jointly" own them.

Well Allie, here’s the deal. While I tend to follow the “old school” rules of monogramming (as briefly touched upon in last weeks post), truly anything goes in today’s world of monogramming. Believe you me, I have seen some pretty crazy monograms (such as people who give their kids like 5 names and can’t pick their favorite 3 for a monogram so they use ALL of them). But my thought is this: regarding glassware, if you are undecided to use a joint monogram when married, or to go with the old school man’s monogramming rule for glassware, then why not just use the single initial? It’s a nice clean look and you can dress it up a bit by placing two dots on either side of the initial or a design underneath. Both are really nice, although a tad more modern and can be passed down to other people (children) in the family someday. Our beer glasses have a single initial monogram and it looks very nice.

As for linens, often times you will find antique pillow cases where one has “his” monogram, and one has “her” monogram. But then the old school method as you mentioned is to use the woman’s monogram for linens. I prefer a joint monogram on linens because, as your husband mentioned, both of you are using them and you both jointly own them. After a quick walk through my house, I can tell you that pretty much everything in plain view that is monogrammed that we both use and own, has our joint monogram. But don’t expect to be seeing our joint monogram on say, one of my monogrammed bags or anything.

Next up, Josephine, and she writes:
I have a question for you. My last name is Italian, LoMedico. I usually use just the L in my monogram, but should I use both the L and M? How would that work in the traditional first name, maiden name, married name monogram?

You will be happy to know that monogram momma does indeed think you are monogramming correctly, Josephine! So don't worry about having to re-monogram all those bags sitting in your closet. I know this is a tricky question with a last name such as yours, or a name like O’Conner where there are basically two uppercase letters in the last name, where it’s sort of joined together. However, since the first letter of your last name is the “L” then yes, you use the “L” and not both of them. In some cases, some people prefer to do something like JLMB for their monogram if their name was like yours, but gerenally speaking, stick with the “L” and do not add the “M”. It's just too much.

So I hope that answers your questions, but if you've got any more, as always, post them here or pop me a quick email. I've had some great requests regarding gift giving so I will be sure to share those next week, and also have some other really fun stuff to share with you as well. Happy monogramming!

Creating Your Own Monogram

Monogram: noun, a sign of identity usually formed of the combined initials of a name.

So says our friend Webster. But did you know that they were actually created hundreds of years ago as a way for illiterate royals to authorize documents and proclamations? Well it’s true, I kid you not (see #36 “about me”). In fact, the famous Charlemagne him self, was unable to write his own name so he drew his monogram instead. Don’t say I never taught you anything useful!

So in honor of Charlemagne and all things monogrammed (and let’s face it, good and right with this world), I wanted to share a few helpful monogramming tips and resources for doing it yourself, if you are so inclined. You know I am all about giving back to the people and if it happens to be in form of monogramming today, then so be it. So here you go, peeps.

Thanks to Allie, I’ve discovered my new must-have program to play with for creating your own monograms, called Printing Press Extreme (and no, Ashley, I’m not burning a copy for you). Ahem, now, where was I? Oh yes, Printing Press Extreme! According to their website, this inventive software “…includes powerful new features such as patterned text, text on a curve, diamond and circle monograms, multi-style text boxes, pattern and border creators, labels, business cards, print to graphics file for email and offset printing and much more! Includes 285 patterns and more than 100 sample projects.” Yippee!

But if you don’t want to spend the $129 on the software program, then hop on over to My Fonts where you can purchase smaller monogram programs for much less. Now, I will share with you another little treat that Ms. Allie passed along to me is the oval monogram from Harold’s Fonts which you can download for free. Yes, that’s right, I said FREE! Horray! I find it a bit masculine, but it may be just what you’re looking for so go check it out.

Still want to attempt to design your own monogram but don’t quite know how to go about doing it? In that case, I suggest you either get aquainted with Adobe Photoshop, or you give it the ‘ol College try in Microsoft Word. To design your monogram in Microsoft Word, Choose Insert -> Textbox. Type and format the letter the way you like it with your preferred font. Do this three times (one for each initial). Now click on all textboxes and choose Format->Textbox. Choose Color: No Fill (so you can overlap letters) and Line: No Line. Select all letters, right click, and choose Group to lock in the arrangement. There you have it. You can now copy your image into Microsoft Paint and save in several formats, such as JPEG.

Now you all know me well enough by now to know that I’m not just going to send you on your merry way into the land of self-monogramming without a friendly little reminder of the correct order of initials for monogramming. So for those of you who need a little refresher course in the rules of monogramming, I will share the rules according to my Cranes Blue Book of Stationary: Tiffany edition. According to my little blue book, the proper initials for a single individual is first name initial, larger last name name initial, and middle initial (in that order). So, Susan Ashley Granger’s monogam would look like this:

The correct initials for married women to use are those which represent her first name, maiden name, married last name. If all of the initials are the same size, then they appear in that order. However, if you are choosing a monogram style where the center initial is larger, then the initial order should be first name initial, larger married last name initial, and maiden initial. Therefore, Nina Spooner Johnson’s monogram would look like this:

Now, here is the part that a lot of people mess up when it comes to monogramming rules. When you are using a monogram to incorporate both a husband and wife’s initials, the correct is order is woman’s first name initial, the joint married last name initial (larger), then man’s first name initial. The woman’s initial always goes first, such as the monogram of Kate and Alton Richards as shown.

Have more monogramming questions? Then just email me at monogrammomma@charter.net or post it here and I’ll get the answer for you. You know I love a good challenge! Now, I must say. With it being 2006 and all, rules for monogramming are changing, and for casual purposes (ie not formal note cards), it’s is perfectly fine and socially acceptable for a married woman who dropped her maiden name completely, to use her first name initial, larger married last name initial, fllowed by middle name initial. This is actually how my own casual stationary reads, as I completely dropped my maiden name when I became married. So have fun monogramming on your own today, as I’m off to clean the house. The mini monograms are off to pre-school so it’s preppy puppy and myself to prepare for the arrival of Mr. Monogram’s father and step-mother. We are looking forward to their visit for the long weekend and the boys have a whole list of things they plan on dragging them around to do while they are here. Needless to say, I’m not looking very fashionable today, unless you consider yoga pants, sneaks, and a yellow tee a fashion statement for cleaning. But hey, at least I threw a matching ribbon in my hair, right? Oh wait, and my gloves are yellow too!

P.S. Many thanks again to my blogging buddy, Allie, for all the great resources!

Miss Manners vs the Beluga Whale

Do you know what makes two four year olds and a two and a half year old belly-laugh like little hyena’s? Apparently it’s a beluga whale pooping. I’m not kidding. I like to think I have raised my children with a little more couth than that, however, seeing a beluga whale poop at the Georgia Aquarium last week forced my children, along with my dear nephew, to throw all manners and good breeding to the whale sharks, and laugh and giggle and point and exclaim for ALL to hear, in the middle of the Beluga Whale presentation, as they were conveniently standing right next to the Aquarium representative wearing the microphone. It was at that point that I was fed a little humility myself, and reminded that no matter how well your children may be dressed, and no matter how crisp and white those white summer polo sneakers are, if a whale poops, they’re probably going to laugh for everyone at the entire Aquarium to hear.

I don’t quite know what Emily Post would have to say about this, and I don’t even know where to begin to look it up under etiquette, but I do believe that a new chapter on “taking your children to the zoo or aquarium” should be included, or, for the sake of arguing, we could just title the chapter “Miss Manners Explains that Everybody Poops.”So what’s been your dose of humility lately?

Monograms Gone Too Far

Now, you know monogram momma is all about all things pink and green and preppy in between, and especially when that comes to monogramming. However, that being said, there are times, when it is taken past the limit of what I feel is in good taste and proper etiquette. So for that reason, I feel it is my duty, a duty which I take most seriously, to share with you an example of monogramming gone too far (much too far). Just a little example for, you know, should any question or doubt arise in your mind at some point. Consider it a public service announcement, sponsored by monogram momma.

Please, people. I beg of you. Please try to use some decorum when deciding what you think should and should not be monogrammed. I really don’t think I need to point out all the very many bad places this bride has chosen to go with her wedding theme (and don't dare ask my opion on those ridiculous rose turbans either). Poor, poor girl. Bless her heart. *deep sigh*

Being Polite & Fair

So today I’m in a very pensive sort of mood. One of the blogs I read daily is called The Happiness Project, and if you haven’t heard about it or checked it out recently, I suggest you do (the link has been on my sidebar for a while now). You see, the blogger is a published author who is doing something quite amazing, really. In her own words, she is “ …testing every principle, tip, theory, and scientific study I can find, whether from Aristotle or St. Therese or Martin Seligman or Oprah. I’m gathering these rules for living from everywhere I can, and I’ll report what works and what doesn’t.” Isn’t that remarkable? Then on the sidebar, she lists her twelve commandments, one of them being #5, “Be Polite and be fair.” And I have to agree, this too, is something I always try to live by as one of my own commandments in life. And I don’t deem this as something that’s been dictated to me by one of my many Emily Post Etiquette books but instead, I think it just comes from good breeding on my parent’s part. Something I must remind myself to thank them for later. It is always amazing to me that there are certain people in this world, who, as Preppy Princess has said on her new preppy shopping blog, think they are just “all that.” I loved that she put that on her list of reasons to start a new blog, because I am finding it more and more to be true as well. These same types of people of course, are the same types of people (in my own personal opinion that is) who like to been seen as some sort of martyr in one form or another, as generous, thoughtful, and fun-spirited people, when in fact, they are actually self-righteous, cynical, self-centered snobs who think they can and should have the have the right to dictate (and control) other people’s thoughts, merely by making inaccurate assumptions. Ever heard of the old saying "Never make Assumptions because it will only make an ass out of you, NOT me?" I mean, God forbid anyone in this universe share the same tastes or thoughts. I shudder at the thought of it! *snicker* I also find these people to be the type of people I call “toxic.” Oh you know the type, they want to take all the credit for everything, secretly feel good about making other people feel bad, must always be the center of attention (even though they [falsely] claim modesty), blah blah blah. I mean, I think we’ve probably all been in one toxic relationship or another. I myself, have certainly had my fair share of so-called toxic relationships and friends that really bring nothing to the table, other than to draw attention to themselves and project themselves in a dishonest manner and try to prevent you from doing something positive or succeeding. Of course, these are also they same type of people who have never been good about sharing. What a shame! It’s especially difficult for me to understand people like this, when I’ve been so lucky to have the same core group of prep school friends, both male and female for almost 20 years now. I mean, how lucky am I?! And don’t let me forget my “grown up friends” either; the friends Mr. Monogram and I have had since College and in recent years as adults, but who have always “had our backs” if you know what I mean. As they say on Cribs (I love that show!), these are the types of people we “roll” with. Good, honest, thoughtful, creative and fun, REAL people. So I guess my point is, that on these very pensive, navy blue and green sort of days for me, when I am reminded that there are still such catty & egomaniacal people in the world, I am so so lucky to have my preppy prep school crowd and equally preppy and peppy grown up crowd, who really know me, and what I’m all about, and while I’ve tried to be trendy on occasion, it just hasn’t worked well for me and inevitably, I always end up back in my khaki’s and white t-shirt and flip flops. Because that’s just who I am and have always been. And at the end of the day, I can rest assured that I am who I am, and I’ve been polite and fair. So, in my continued, daily effort to “be polite and be fair,” as Gretchen Rubin says, I want to take a minute to thank everyone who keeps stopping by my modest little blog of preppy projects, monogramming ideas, and fun little shopping finds. It is truly amazing to me all of you who continue to stop by to see what it is I’m working on next, and it truly thrills me to see so many of you trying some of my projects and blogging about them yourself on your own blogs (which I love reading, btw). One thing I am not, and that is selfish with my ideas (otherwise, would there really be a point of this blog?). And perhaps a few people have come and gone from my blog, not quite “getting” my sense of humor or sarcasm, and if so, then that's okay too. I mean, even the great Martha herself has her (very large) fair share of people who want to rain her parade. But I chose to believe that she too, lives by #5 so for me, that is a very “good thing.” So anyway, thank-you! Thanks for stopping by and posting comments. And thanks for all the questions and suggestions both good and bad. We may not always agree with one another, but I'm always appreciative to have your opinion. What kind of hostess would I be if I didn't say thank you properly? ;-) And you know, If I could write you each a handwritten note on my monogrammed stationary, I most certainly would!

Friday Afternoon Etiquette

If you read my “100 Things about me” list, you will have read #63 where I quite honestly admit “I am somewhat of an etiquette snob.” Personally, I think more people should be a little more particular about etiquette than they are in this day in age and I just can not stand rude and inconsiderate people (hence my list on the sidebar that says “Everyone Should Own” and includes Emily Post’s book of Etiquette). So let me just throw this out there for you and you can tell me if I’m being too harsh. Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that someone you knew who had a very important job was being promoted to an enormous position in their company and moving far away. Now, this person obviously could not have gotten this tremendous job without the hard work and dedication of her staff and employees. And a party is thrown in her honor (as it should), to celebrate this promotion and then a second party is being thrown for her husband and children as a “thank you and good luck, we’ll miss you!” type send off. People have changed plans, cancelled appointments and preparations have gone into this send-off for the husband and children, only for him to say he’s “too tired” and has “too much to do” a few hours before the party so it’s cancelled. And so after all these years of socializing and making small talk and even friends in the company, and after all these people have helped his wife get this probably seven figure position, he just cancels. Just like that, at the last minute. And no one has the opportunity to say goodbye or wish them well, and he himself, NEVER says how much this all means to him or thanks the handfuls of people who have supported his wife to secure such a high position in the company, and he just acts like it’s time to wash his hands of everyone and move on. No thank you, no nothing. Like it’s really no big deal. Now, am I being an etiquette snob, or is this truly as rude as I think it is? I personally see this as very rude and disrespectful to all the people who rearranged schedules to be there, and genuinely wanted to say goodbye and thank you to the entire family for their support, and he acts like he just can’t even be bothered with them for a mere hour that they were all doing FOR HIM. And then the fact that his wife doesn’t just say “you know what, suck it up. These people are doing this for you and the kids so you should at least come for an hour to show your appreciation” is just as much as a slap in the face if you ask me. So I’m anxious to hear what your opinion on this is as well because it’s had me riled up for quite a few days now. And even though I know this has absolutely nothing to do with one of my many “good things” and I haven’t even thrown out a Martha-ism today or anything creative for that matter, I will remind you that this is still my blog and I’m choosing to blog about one of my “100 things.” So there (can you tell this has hit a nerve with me?). Sorry, I’m totally not trying to be rude though.