Reader Requests: Holiday Card Etiquette

So, would you believe that the 160 dog-gone pictures I ordered from Snapfish for our Christmas cards A) were printed with a glossy finish and not matte as I requested (I have an unnatural disdain for glossy ghigh sheen prints) and B) the color is so dark on mini #2’s face that it looks like there is a big shadow? UGHH! I feel like flinging them right back at the brown UPS truck that just pulled away from the driveway that delivered these things, but it’s a good thing I have better manners than that and that I also realize that desperate times call for desperate measures. And that means I need to suck it up and send it out as is. They really don’t look all that bad I guess, I just happen to be a tad picky about certain things, and my pictures are one of them. Whatever. It’s done. I need to move on from it (or put it on the short list of things I need to discuss in therapy next time).

But speaking of holiday cards, Susan emailed me with a holiday card etiquette question that I thought was a great one to share.

While showing my mother our holiday cards last night, she said “shouldn’t you have listed your husband’s name first and then yours?” I looked this up in Peggy Post and the only rule that I really found was that some people think the woman’s name should come first, some think the person writing the cards should sign their name last, and that if there are children involved, the father’s name always comes first. So, I don’t think I was wrong to put: Susan, hubby and puppy but I am wondering your opinion. On invitations, if a couple is hosting it would be listed Susan and husband last name, wouldn’t it?

When it comes to questions over written etiquette, I tend to always refer to my Crane's Blue Book of Stationery. It truly is a book I think everyone should own and I can tell you my own copy is both well worn and well loved. I hope you hedged a little bet over this because here's the deal. When sending a holiday card (or card in general), the woman's name should appear first (if using individual names), followed by her husband's name. If there are children, then their names should appear on the next line beneath their parents' names (of course, typing this I’m realizing I was in such a hurry to get mine printed I put Mr. M’s name first-YIKES! I'm now HORRIFIED!). Therefore, you are indeed correct!

Now, given what I've stated above, there are, as always, a few things to keep in mind. As you know, I tend to follow a hard line on traditional etiquette and wording and the proper placement of names and monograms. However, it is almost 2007 and the world has relaxed a bit, so in terms of Christmas cards being much more casual and fun these days (we are so lucky to have so many fantastic internet options!!) and not the basic ecru card it was in the past, I do think this is one of those times you can relax a little. In this day and age, sometimes a family is just too big to list all the members properly, sometimes there is only one parent, some times there may be 2 mom's or even two dads! So I think we have to keep those little things in mind a bit.

But like I said, congratulations, you are correct and I hope you won some money out of that bet!