My Christmas Miracle

Do you ever have just one of those days?

Earlier today I was chit chatting in email with her royal preppy princess, telling her that I just returned home from clawing my way through an inflatable obstacle course with two 4 yr olds and a 3 yr old. Let's just say I'm a *tad* out of shape for this sort of thing. When I finally thought I was in the homestretch, I came around the corner to an inflatable rock climbing wall. Which, btw, is the only way to reach the top of the slide to slide down to exit. It's all a bit hazy now, but I feel fairly certain a few profanities came out of my mouth. Oh well. Thank god that's over.

Fast Forward to this afternoon, after the play date and after the naps. I had a great 2 hour nap myself though today thanks to that inflatable work out. So we get up from naps and everything is all great and fine until I come down to the kitchen and notice my wedding set (both my diamond engagement ring AND diamond wedding ring) are missing from the glass I had placed them in while I was doing dishes earlier. Hmm. Very strange. And when I walked over to the actual glass to pick it up and look around it for my jewelry, I noticed that in the glass, in the place of my diamond baubles, was a rock. A BIG. DIRTY. YARD ROCK. What was this? Like, a trade? Well I’m all for trading up my diamond but um, no, I will NOT be substituting it for a dirty rock thank you very much.

So I not so calmly raced upstairs skipping stairs, taking them 2 or 3 at a time. This is no small feat when you are maybe 5’2 on a good, non sneaker wearing day, mind you. Anyway, out of breath, I reach the top of the stairs and give mini #1 the 2nd degree. He is clueless about where my rings are, but is giving me a sneaky little smirk so truthfully, I wasn’t really buying what he was selling if you know what I mean. Race back downstairs, look around again. Maybe I’m just not seeing them. Maybe they are blending in with the counters. Maybe they’re on the floor! No. No. and No again. Grab a sippy cup with milk for mini #2 (this is how I plan to woo the information out of him, you see) and race back up the stairs, again, skipping 2 and 3 at a time. Note to self: Get to gym. You are completely beyond the point of being out of shape after today.

So I get mini #2 up from his nap and our conversation goes like this (remember, he’s just turned 3)…

ME: Mini? Did you take mommy’s pretty sparkling jewelry out of this cup? (Showing him the glass and shaking it in the air)

HIM: shaking his head no…

ME: Are you SURE you didn’t take mommy’s pretty rings out of this little cup I’m holding??? (Shaking faster and higher now, in case he missed it the first time)

HIM: YES! (He says this time with great enthusiasm, throwing his arms into the air as if his team has just scored a touchdown)

ME: (thinking to myself. EXCELLENT.)

ME: Well okay then tell mommy where you put them! (in a nervous high-pitched mom voice, trying to squash my anger so the perp doesn’t go mute on me)

HIM: The horsy has it!! (Very big brown eyes at this point telling me this)

NOTE: Obviously I do not have a horse or you would have heard about it by now.

ME: Well can you tell mommy where the horsy is? Where is horsy?! (very sweetly and also a little concerned that my child all of the sudden has an imaginary horse that has eaten my wedding set and how on EARTH am I going to explain this all to Mr. Monogram when he gets back in town????!?!?!)

HIM: In the garage!! (Again, lots of excitement at the word “garage” and arms thrown high into the air. He has just scored)

So faster than a speeding bullet, monogram momma is now racing out to the garage to look for something horse-like. I should warn you now. We have a 3-car garage that is chalk-full of boxes and who knows what else, just to give you a visual (although at least my car fits in there). OKAY THEN. But lo and behold, I spot a Radio Flyer ride-on horse that the boys have outgrown. One of those things they jump up and down on and “ride.” After frantically searching, all the while desperately praying to St. Anthony, I found my rings, separated like twins at birth, one in one place, the other in another place. In. The. GARAGE.
ON.
THE.
FLOOR.

So my heart, an hour later, was still beating a million times a minute and that boy has NO idea how lucky he is that his life was just spared. But THANK YOU ST. ANTHONY for my Christmas miracle today!

Maybe I need to ask for another little monogrammed jewelry box for Christmas, just to keep in the kitchen.