02 November, 2009

Time to Unload

I consider myself very lucky to be able to be a stay-at-home mom. Not a day doesn't go by that I don't appreciate it, or realize what a luxury it truly is. And one of the great things about being able to stay home is that I have plenty of time to volunteer. Or so I thought I had plenty of time.

As it turns out, when you spend all your "free time" volunteering, that means you have no time for the things that actually fall under the job description of being a SAHM. Those things include (but are not limited to) washing, folding, & putting away laundry, loading and unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the extra dishes in the sink, all the additional housework such as cleaning toilets, changing sheets, vacuuming, dusting, etc., and grocery shopping. Coincidentally, these are also the things I've been royally sucking at lately because I've completely over committed myself. At the beginning of the year I felt like because the boys were in school, I had plenty of time to give to their school, and this was important for me to do as a SAHM. But now that's taken all my time, and today I finally had a break down. And there were tears.

You see, somewhere between my fundraising (which I love and wouldn't ever give up), cafeteria duty, home room mom duty (times TWO, mind you because I certainly don't want to hurt either of my kids feelings), field trips, and sewing All Saints costumes all day Saturday and Sunday, it hit me that all these things that I normally love, are just "Things To Do" now. I love All Saints Day. But I was miserable sewing and crafting these costumes all weekend long, and just wanted to get it over with. I'm stressed beyond belief, and all because I was so afraid of having nothing to do to pass the time while the boys were in school, that now I have no time to do the things I actually should be doing. Are you still with me?

So tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I start to say "no." Tomorrow I start to say "I would love to but my plate is full." I am determined to enjoy the Holiday season in my clean and organized home with my children, and that begins tomorrow.


Torch Lake Prep said...

I am in the exact same boat !! I've learned that it doesn't matter what others expect of a SAHM, it's what I'm willing/able to give in order to maintain balance in all aspects of my life and who cares what they think!!
Amen to saying NO gracefully.

Anonymous said...

Sending you a {HUG}. It's hard to say "no" - I sometimes feel those guilt pangs when I bow out of things- as if someone is thinking I should do more. I learned a few years ago what a slippery slope the volunteering can be if you let it ...and vowed I would give some of my time to volunteering & feel good about it no matter the capacity!!
Here's to your new day & outlook - cheers!!

kp said...

Goodness Gracious..you do too much. Next year, you should sit your boys down and explain that you have to alternate each year being the Home Room Mom. This will free up some time. In the meanwhile, are you sewing just your two boy's All Saints costumes? Or did you offer to do more??? OK, I think after all this stress, you should order yourselff some monogrammed stationery from one of your lines to cheer you up. Wish you lived closer-but I think I would get myself in trouble if I lived near you. I would spend thousands at the local Michaels!!! Hope tomorrow is better. xo

TCP said...

"I am determined to enjoy the Holiday season in my clean and organized home with my children, and that begins tomorrow."

Oh amen!! It's such a slippery slope with the volunteering, especially w/ the catholic schools. Being new to it this year, I have been FLOORED at how much time some moms spend at the school.

preppyinnewengland said...

Oh my heavens, I was you for several years up until last June, to be exact; Classroom parent, PTO Executive Board Member, Girl Scout Leader, Cub Scout Leader not to mention the little committees I chaired along the way. This year I did a complete STOP and only volunteered to be a classromm parent. That is it! I have learned to say NO. I have learned to suggest some new Mom names (younger parents just itching to get started) There were so many times I hated what I was doing or didn't like the direction it was going in. There were so many times that I loved it! My kids loved it too! But, my housework suffered; ironing and putting clothes away, organizing or just doing something on a whim with other Mom's. I was always "committed". I am having so much fun now, and getting things done. You'll find the right things to drop and change. It will work for you. Feel better!